Reflections on one of the best days of my life

So today was race day, my first 5k. Wow, where to even start? First of all, I don't feel like I really prepared well for it. We went on vacation for Thanksgiving and I did run 3 times while away and added speed intervals, which did seem to help in many ways, but when we came home busyness and shopping, plus cold weather and my loathing of running on the treadmill means I didn't run as much as I would have liked. In fact, my mind was very much on other things and I had really been focusing more on my gym classes like strength training and training camp classes. (FUN!!) In some ways I was even regretting signing up for the race and did not feel confident that I would do well at all, and just kind of wanted to get it over with. However, when I woke up this morning I got excited and was looking forward to it. And then it started to rain. Really hard. And the forecast didn't look good either, calling for thunderstorms right at race time. And now comes the embarrassing part. I got really, really angry. All I could think of was something I had really been looking forward to and working so hard for was going to be taken away. (Aren't we so silly and fickle and SINFUL? Look what I wrote just above about not really wanting to do it until it looked like it might not happen. Well, deep down I think I really did want to do it, just didn't want to do poorly and embarrass myself. See that whole me, me, me theme again?) It's not that I really minded running in the rain, but I certainly didn't see how I could run in a deluge and what would I then do with my kids? I didn't want them to get soaked and had nobody to watch them if I did decide to run it. The devil just loves to use these opportunities to whisper lies in my ear and cause me to doubt God's love. Wow, nothing is ever new under the sun. And being the dumb sheep I am I fall for it every time and think God is against me and just wants me miserable. So I threw a very big temper tantrum, yelled at my dear friend Karen, and went to my bed to cry and sulk like a baby. I had made up my mind that I wasn't going after hubby said to stay home because it was raining too hard. I just lay there and ranted at God... then started to cry and said out loud, "I've lost all my heart to do it." Then that gentle and still small voice said, "Will you do it for Me?" It was so clear and so obvious it was my sweet Saviour because my heart was immediately melted and smitten and broken and changed all at once. Nobody but Him could do that. Up until that moment it had all been about me: my weight, my preparations, my performance, me, me, me. And then it just all changed at once. A few sweet words from my dear Savior and that was all I needed. It still amazes me that He would choose to speak to me in the midst of such sinful and spoiled brat behavior. And that He would ask me to run for Him?? How could I say no? I had SOMEONE SO much BIGGER than me to run for!!!! I used to think God didn't care about stuff like that. I was too "spiritual" to think God could have any thought for those kinds of things. Hey, you learn something new every day... Well, I got out of that bed, came out and repented to my dear children, my friend, and my husband for my idiocy, and had faith that everything would be ok though the weather still looked awful. To make a long story shorter, I ran that race. I ran it in 33:55, (not a personal best) passing the lady I had been behind nearly the whole race at the finish line, and experienced one of the happiest and most exhilirating moments of my life. And He even gifted me with a rainbow right in the middle of the run. Oh, how good He is!!! I ran for Him, for His glory, and because He loves me. Wow. Thank you Jesus. And I will be turning on the comments for this one. :) Pictures will come later.

Oh, and by the way, it didn't rain for the whole race!