What I am thinking...

as I sit here this morning feeling like the most wicked and vile person that has ever walked this earth.... is that I still cannot wrap my mind around the Gospel and that God could love sinners, of whom I am chief. It just seems too stinkin' good to be true. But it really IS true. I know it in my head because I know God's Word is true, but the times it really does sink into my heart, and I realize what I am and that all I deserve is hell, yet He died for me, LOVES me, and even gives me good gifts to go along with that, I am full of wonder; eyes and a heart of wonder that I never want to lose. No wonder someone wrote Amazing Grace. It is amazing indeed. So amazing that it does sound too good to be true. Here's a confession: I have NEVER thought of the Gospel as too good to be true until now. What does that say about me as a Christian? That I have never properly understood the Gospel? Probably. I have thought myself a Christian for many years, going back to when I was a little girl and going to the altar every week and asking God to save me because I thought I had been so bad during the week that I had to ask again and only earnestly trying to follow the Lord for the last 10 years. Yet I am only scratching the surface of Grace. Could that be why God allows us to see how vile and sinful we are sometimes? I don't really know. All I know is this:
Father, please let me never lose the wonder and amazement of Your Grace.